Enough

Note: I debated whether or not to post this. I obviously decided to post it. It's a wordy post. It includes media references (sorry...) But, this is what has been on my mind the past couple of days, and that's what a blog is for, right? Sharing what's on your mind. Well, here it is:

The following pictures are from one of my all time favorite episodes of One Tree Hill (Episode 4x13 if you want to sit down and watch it sometime). The characters open up to each other in this episode. We find out insecurities and fears that they each have. It felt like one of the more true to life episodes to me. It was one that I could really relate to. I related to a lot of the characters in that episode, but by far the one I related to the most as far as the picture for the yearbook went was Brooke.
Brooke tells Chase (her partner for the assignment) that her biggest fear is "Not being enough." I've often thought about this, and applied it to myself. I have that same fear. That I'm not enough. Look at the words on and around Brooke. "Not talented enough." "Not smart enough." "Not pretty enough." "Not good enough." I think it's human nature to feel like this sometimes, but here's what I've been thinking about recently. Who am I not good enough for? Myself? My friends? My family? Strangers?
In "Forever in Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood" Carmen talks about being a "worthy friend" for a girl she met in college, Julia. In Carmen's case with Julia, being a worthy friend meant downplaying who she really is. It meant that Carmen basically forget about herself. She started to doubt herself. She even doubted the love of her family and her best friends (Tibby, Bridget, and Lena). I'd be lying if I said I never do this. I do. Sometimes I get trying so hard to be "good enough" for one person or a "worthy friend" that I start to doubt the love of my family and my true friends and I start to forget who I really am. I am a daughter of God. I am a person worthy of love. I am a person who is loved.
There are so many people in my life who I love. I've come to realize that the people who are truly meant to be part of my life will love me through my imperfections and be supportive of changes I want and need to make. I am enough for the people who matter. They are enough for me. I am trying day by day to improve and so are the people in my life. I am a worthy friend. I am a worthwhile person. I have so many worthwhile people in my life. So... once again I've realized that "Life Is Good."

Friday Happy List

So... I stole this idea from my friend Aleisha. (I believe she got it from shabbyapple or something... look at the tag on the picture... In any case, I'm giving Aleisha credit for giving me the idea) She does it faithfully and I love reading it, so this Friday (even though it's late Friday) I decided to give it a go.

- Kids at work make me laugh.
- Mom comes home from girl's camp tomorrow.
-I'm reading the first book in the "Pretty Little Liars" series.
- I just went on a walk and listened to some of my favorite songs.
- This song by Selena Gomez... yeah... I said Selena Gomez.

The Journey

Life since I graduated from high school has been interesting. I've had quite the weight loss journey, and it's not over yet! I thought I'd post some photos that go through various stages of my weight in the past 4 years.

June 2007: This is right after I graduated high school. My family went to China with the singing group that my sister and I were in at the time. It was such a good experience, but I hate looking at the pictures because of how I looked.

Fast forward to May 2008: I had just finished my first year of college at CEU. I had changed my eating habits. I didn't live at home so food wasn't as readily available to me. I ate a lot less and walked everywhere. I think I lost around 20lbs. that year but I don't remember exactly.

September 2010: This was taken at the beginning of my second year at USU. I had just been walking everywhere still. I didn't work out regularly or anything. I was down about 30-40lbs. from high school at this point. I wasn't losing a lot at this point, but I was maintaining.

November 2010: This was taken before I went down with the institute choir to sing at an LDS fireside. At this point I had started going to the gym a little bit.

February 2011: My birthday. I had been counting calories a little bit, but hadn't started really counting consistently.

April 2011: At this point I had been going to the gym at least 3 times a week (usually more). I was pretty consistently counting calories (my roommates would tell you that it was obsessively).

May 2011: This was just a couple of months ago. I've only lost a few more pounds since then. I think I'm down about 60 lbs. from where we started this little photo journey.

I'm still working hard at losing some more weight. I have good days and bad days with it. I wish you could buy will power in a bottle. Haha. Anyway, just wanted to share. If I did it, so can you! It was also good for me to put all of those pictures back to back and see how far I've come. It gives me motivation to keep going.

In the Past Month I:

• Watched new episodes of Pretty Little Liars. It's super intense! Ian's not dead. That's all.
• Made sock monkeys.
• Made an owl sleep mask.
• Reunited with Aleisha. We discussed Pretty Little Liars and made sock monkeys. I love that girl!
  
• Reunited with Rachel. Love her too! This reunion resulted in my eating sushi for the first time.
  
• Worked at the daycare. I love this job!
  
• Read a bunch of books.
• Made cake balls. That was last night. It was a fun little project. I only failed a little.
• Started watching what I eat.
• Started working out more. Gotta get my beach bod ready for Hawaii in August!
  
• Didn't take a whole lot of pictures. Sorry.
  

What I've Been Up To

1. Reading. Lots of reading. I've read a couple John Grisham novels so far this summer. I also re-read the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series in preparation for the new one that is coming out on June 14th: Sisterhood Everlasting. I love that series so much! It makes me want to write real letters to my friends instead of just facebook and texting... will I? Likely not...

2. A super top-secret project that turned out super cute! Although I don't think that the person the project is for reads this blog, one can never be too sure... so nothing more can be said...

3. Pretty Little Liars countdown game with Aleisha!! She is so great for humoring me on this! It's been so fun! We switch off days and send each other pictures of the number of days left until the season premiere of PLL. Some of my favorites have included playdough, sidewalk chalk, "Count your many blessings" picture, and this:

Aleisha sent it today. He is beautiful. And today is the one week mark!

4. Working at a daycare. Love that job! Such fun kids and adults that I get to work with!!

5. Playing with my mom. Shopping, working in the garden, watching Lois & Clark, playing Bananagrams. Good times!

6. Seeing Les Miserables! So so so good!! My family and I saw it at Capitol Theater. LOVED IT!!


7. Participating in a Kids are Music alumni choir. It was super fun! I loved getting to see some old friends and the directors. I also loved singing in a choir again. We sang "Music Speaks" and a super cool arrangement of "Africa" complete with rain storm. Legit.

I guess that's about it... ish.

The End of Another Chapter

Another school year has come to an end, and it was a great one! It was hard, but great. I had fantastic roommates, amazing friends, and a fun practicum experience. I got to do some practicum in a kindergarten class, and it was so fun! I loved those kids and the teachers that I worked with.
I also had amazing roommates! Seriously! What would I have done without them? Amanda and I have been living together for two years now and we have one more coming! More adventures to come! Aleisha and I developed a really good relationship! Crafting, late-night drives, watching random TV series... good times! Rachel and I always had great talks! She kept me sane... then drove me insane... then kept me sane again... it was a vicious cycle and I wouldn't have it any other way. Natalie... oh Natalie! She is probably the funniest person I know... and she re-introduced me to Lois & Clark. I seriously laughed so hard every time I was with Natalie! And Kerah, we had some good talks. She is different from any roommate I have ever had, but I learned a lot from her and am so glad I got to live with her.
I made some great friends through the program too. Kimber, Kylee, Kaitlyn, Lyndsi, Kristina... just to name a few. I would have died in the program without them.
It was such a great year!
Now that summer is here I'm just hanging out for a while. I'll start work in a couple of weeks at the daycare and I'm so excited!
I feel like I have grown a lot this school year. I had great people around me, and I finally feel like I'm starting to become a good teacher.
I'm excited for the summer! I need a break from school, even though it was great!

Things I'm Loving

Hi. It's been a while since I've posted, so I felt the need to do so. I'm going to tell y'all about some things that I have been loving lately. Ready? Good

1. "Stiff" By Mary Roach. It's a book about human cadavers. It sounds weird and morbid, but it's actually super interesting. I'm loving it and learning a lot. However, it's definitely not for everyone. I'm also loving it because it's the first book I've read in a while that is for pleasure and not for school.

2. The Biebs. Yes. 'Tis true. I saw the Justin Bieber movie with my roommates and I'm a fan now. He is precious. You can't not love him after seeing the movie.

3. Pretty Little Liars. OH MY HEAVENS! This is me and Aleisha's newest guilty pleasure. We can't get enough. We scream, cry, over-analyze... it's so good! We don't have cable in our apartment so we have to watch the episodes online later. Hulu is another thing I love for this very reason. I'm dying to know who "A" is. I've blamed just about everyone on the show, but part of me thinks it's someone we haven't even met. Does anyone who reads this blog watch this show? What are your thoughts on who "A" is?

Now... a little disclaimer... the rest of my loves are directly related to Pretty Little Liars... Onward!

4. Keegan Allen. Look at those eyes and that jaw line. He is beautiful. He plays Toby on Pretty Little Liars, and he is beautiful. He took his shirt off in the last episode, and he is beautiful. He has an evil sister, but he is beautiful. He's going to date Spencer (one of the liars), and it will be beautiful.

5. Tyler Blackburn. Again with the beautiful boys with the beautiful eyes. He plays Caleb on Pretty Little Liars. He has the whole bad boy with a heart of gold thing going on (or so we thought until the last 37 seconds of the latest episode... *cries*) which we all know I can't resist. The long hair works for him. The grubby cap and plaid shirt works for him. Everything works for him. He also took his shirt off in the latest episode. That also works for him. It works very well.

6. The Pierces. They sing the Pretty Little Liars theme song "Secret." I have taken a liking to their music. Look them up on Youtube. Seriously. Just be aware that their music is all pretty creepy.

So... those are some things that I am loving. Some things I am not loving:
Classes (Each class is over 3 hours long and half the time I want to poke my eyes out)
People who don't know about personal hygiene (there's this one kid... I seriously have to hold my breath when I walk past him)
People who think that it's ok to wear black track pants with gray turtleneck sweaters
Waiting for new episodes of Pretty Little Liars

Also... P.S. I'm going on a spring break trip to Vegas and St. George with my roommates. I'm excited, and also stressed. Traveling stresses me out, but I always end up having a blast once I get there. It's just the planning that stresses me out. This doesn't really fit into either of the previous categories, but I wanted to mention it anyway.

So... Life is good! Hope y'all are enjoying your lives! Happy spring break (for those of you who have spring break this week), and happy weekend (for those of you who don't). Do something fun. and exciting!